It’s V Day. The room is lit by candlelight, there are petals on the bedspread, melodic slow jams fill the air, you’ve had precisely 2.5 glasses of wine.
And you’re wearing your brand new, sexy underwear. The set you bought specifically for Valentine’s Day. Maybe it’s red. Maybe there are complicated suspenders. It’s definitely slightly uncomfortable.
And you feel like an idiot.
Buying some super sexy underwear for the most romantic day of the year always seems like a good idea – until you’re trying to awkwardly undress for the big reveal and you suddenly feel very silly indeed.
But, you know you look amazing in that underwear – that’s why you bought it. And you know your other half will be salivating from the moment you take off a single sock. So how do you get over the mental barriers of embarrassment and just enjoy yourself?
We asked We-Vibe’s relationship expert, Dr Becky Spelman for her tips on how to be confident in your sexiest underwear this Valentine’s Day:
Buy the right thing
If you’re buying some new lingerie to wear for your partner, remember you are giving a gift to both of you, says Dr Becky.
‘You will feel sexy and empowered in your sexuality by rocking an intimate look that showcases your body in all its glory, and your partner will have the great pleasure of unwrapping you.
‘Now there’s a win-win situation.’
When it comes to confidence in choosing, Becky says consider having a professional fitting.
‘That way, you can be sure you’re looking your best,’ she says. And when it comes to the bedroom – try to act confident, even if you don’t feel it immediately.
‘You’re a catch, so make sure you show this in your body language,’ says Becky. ‘Stand tall with your shoulders back and don’t let any nervousness display in your posture or the gestures you make.
‘Avoid closed gestures such as arms crossed in front of your chest and use expansive gestures instead.’
Be somebody else
If the thought of putting on a sexy performance feels like your idea of hell – what if you weren’t you, but somebody else? Roleplay can be a great way to get over the squeamishness of being overtly sexy as yourself.
‘Role-play can be tremendous, and very creative, fun in a relationship,’ says Dr Becky.
‘While human beings are naturally drawn to monogamy, the reality is that we are also naturally drawn to variety. How to square this circle? Roleplay is often the answer.
‘Get into character first by really imagining the role you want to play and maybe even buying a few props or costume items to go with your character.